How I happend upon first affair....
It was recently asked in my only comment so far(thanks rob) so I will go into it a little bit. How I found out about frist affair.
Well, I think I had deep suspisions when the husband was spending every weekend at his buddies house, mind you we just had a new baby(less than 3 months old). Of course and I grew to be exhausted caring for a newborn all by myself, no sleep, always feeding, the husband going out. I got more curious, he would just be matter-of-fact leaving on Friday like clockwork. Well, they there would be overnights there(because he didn't want to drive home drunk, whatever).
Anyway after a short while this young dumb girl(who knew all about me mind you) was falling in love so she would send him emails. I couldn't get into his email account(yet) but he was stupid enough to save her precious email of everything she thought, with some great details of there nights together. It was on AOL. I had found a file in the computer that would show me everything saved on AOL. So there it was.
I of course was pissed and so much more at the time. I confronted as soon as he got home(from one of these over nights it just so happened). It was immediately played off nothing. He says there was a drunken kiss one night but that was it. In the email there was mention of the buddy and his wife setting up a room with a bed for them(of course, he had no idea what that was all about) nor did he know what the "freakin'" commments were about, what ever.
There is so much more but there ya go, that is how I first found out. Later this same girl would contact me, first on the computer at my website. Then she was emailing me and calling me. It was a long time they were together but finally she felt scorned and was spilling it all to me.
In later affairs, it has always been the beauty of technology. Mostly the computer, but the phone bills too. those paper trails don't lie. I ended up with a typing program for a while in the computer that could read everything he typed, including passwords so I had access to all those accounts. It was a lot of effort and I am not sure what really I was hoping to get out of it.
He is still a lying bastard, who thinks he is so slick and I his wife is as dumb as the young girls he tries to fuck.
Well, I think I had deep suspisions when the husband was spending every weekend at his buddies house, mind you we just had a new baby(less than 3 months old). Of course and I grew to be exhausted caring for a newborn all by myself, no sleep, always feeding, the husband going out. I got more curious, he would just be matter-of-fact leaving on Friday like clockwork. Well, they there would be overnights there(because he didn't want to drive home drunk, whatever).
Anyway after a short while this young dumb girl(who knew all about me mind you) was falling in love so she would send him emails. I couldn't get into his email account(yet) but he was stupid enough to save her precious email of everything she thought, with some great details of there nights together. It was on AOL. I had found a file in the computer that would show me everything saved on AOL. So there it was.
I of course was pissed and so much more at the time. I confronted as soon as he got home(from one of these over nights it just so happened). It was immediately played off nothing. He says there was a drunken kiss one night but that was it. In the email there was mention of the buddy and his wife setting up a room with a bed for them(of course, he had no idea what that was all about) nor did he know what the "freakin'" commments were about, what ever.
There is so much more but there ya go, that is how I first found out. Later this same girl would contact me, first on the computer at my website. Then she was emailing me and calling me. It was a long time they were together but finally she felt scorned and was spilling it all to me.
In later affairs, it has always been the beauty of technology. Mostly the computer, but the phone bills too. those paper trails don't lie. I ended up with a typing program for a while in the computer that could read everything he typed, including passwords so I had access to all those accounts. It was a lot of effort and I am not sure what really I was hoping to get out of it.
He is still a lying bastard, who thinks he is so slick and I his wife is as dumb as the young girls he tries to fuck.
posted by Broken at 5:07 AM
3 Comments:
It's not a great marriage, is it? So, are you eventually planning on leaving him, or at least make sure that he doesn't leave you saddled with debts or no support for your child. Have you talked to anyone in real life (family, marriage counselor, lawyer) about what your options are? Thanks for sharing this in your blog. Hope we readers can be of some emotional support to you. Take care.
thanks, I am sorta at a cross roads right now which is why I started blogging about it. I am still really embarrassed to tell anyone IRL,so I haven't. A close friend knows something is going on, but she doesn't know the half of it.
Anyway, I don't worry about the child support issue, he will always be good on that end. I just worry about losing my kids, even though he is the problem in all of this. He has the better job, money, house, stability...
Ok, so given that he's providing the family security, then you make sure that this continues but you look after your own emotional needs elsewhere if you have to. Of course it would be a 1000 times better if you and he both went for some marriage counseling but maybe, until he admits that he's the problem, then you might consider going alone to a marriage counsellor whom you can trust, perhaps best it be a woman. At least you will then get some professional help to better cope and plan for you and your child's future. Agree? Please give it some serious thought before perhaps quickly deciding otherwise.
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